I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Its about making memories worth repressing
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
