Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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