Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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