I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
