i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
