Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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