my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
