i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
