I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
