and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
