I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize