Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
