I hate your face
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
