Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
