That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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