Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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