she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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