wanna go halves on a baby?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
