dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
