Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
no. you can't hotbox the world.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
