Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
