i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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