Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
