And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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