Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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