I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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