Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place