why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours