He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.