idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I don't deserve a penis
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again