if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
