I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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