i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
