Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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