Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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