Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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