I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
