Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
