If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He passed out mid-signature
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize