did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
