He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize