its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
