the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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