are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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