What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
