Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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