i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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