I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We had to coat check the pizza.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
