WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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