Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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