And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
