That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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