Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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