I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize