yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
