It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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