Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
