Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
So how was he last night?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.