What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Randomize
