Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.