The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.