we have officially lost it.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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