Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
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my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
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Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven