Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
