When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
