I wish I could teleport
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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