I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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