HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
