Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
