there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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