I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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