oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
