Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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